i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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