So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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