I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize