how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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