For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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