and you said cock pushups were impossible
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
