Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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