You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
