do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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