ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
