Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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