the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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