elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
