just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize