if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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