You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
