We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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