everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
