They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
