I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize