I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
