why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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