Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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