I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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