I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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