spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
