Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
