I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
