There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize