I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
