i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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