I wannas sexs uuuuu
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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