ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
did i walk over a car last night?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
