It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
did i just pee glitter
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
