he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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