I will die if light touches me.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
dude. I can hear the air.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
