I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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