she was so not down for the gang bang
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
