kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
