What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
