Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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