I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
