Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
