how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
