and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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