Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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