alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize