i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
