Small penises have feelings too.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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