How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
