forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize