Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
