Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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