The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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