you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
