After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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