I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
two words...techno handjob
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
