And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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