Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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