I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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