I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
