Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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