The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
