Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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