We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
