Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He better not be in your backpack
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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