I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
