I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
